This entry my be blunt by this is honestly how I feel...

For the first time in my 3 year relationship, I felt...

1)emptiness - just like there wasn't anything in the relationship. No communication, no understanding.

2)loneliness - no special one to share my feelings with

3)irritated - this could be due to my high expectation but i really do feel the other party should understand how i operates and what i want. Then again, there is an element of selfishness here.


Why will I want to say all those stuff? I got my reasons...

Firstly, i said that there is no communication. Why? Simply lack of communication. The only form of communication between two of us right now is "I reach home lei" & "I go sleep lei". I got alot of things I wanted to share by yet had been still kept within myself. Such as topics regarding my new class, the accidently involving my motorcycle was not even communicated to you. Right know, all I know about you is what time you reach home and what time you are going to sleep. Busy could be a wonderful excuse but it can also be a extremely good excuse to break off all relation as well.

Secondly, there is no understanding. Both of us are simply to apathetic to consider the other parties' feeling. Such as I do not give a damn to what you are doing and vice versa. Even in the past when I did something wrong, I will still think of you and realised the deed which I had done is wrong. What is happening now is that you do what you want and i do what i want.

Thirdly, loneliness. I do not know why I have that feeling but I just guess I do miss you. It could be attention from you that I am missing.

Lastly, it is a common knowledge that I get easily irritated by stuff. I just give a random example.
1)We were talking on MSN discussing on some topics and suddenly you go MIA. If thats the case, what for you want to talk to me anyway? I do not want to keep looking into your conversation window like and idiot and get no replies. We all got better stuff to do.
There are alot of incident which left me irritated but mostly are forgotten. This doesn't mean I forgive and forget.

With everything said and done, I really hope the trip in June will improve our relationship significantly. Every small little things to be done in a r/s counts. I was reading blogs which gave events on how girls does thoughtful and romantic stuff to guys, something which I am not afraid to disclose that I am envious of.