I'm shocked, startled, speechless, upset, disappointed.

This basically sums up my feelings now.

Things has not been smooth sailing of late.

Arguments has taken its toll on me.

Assignment has left me hanging dry.

Sometimes I just feels so tired. The urge of dropping everything and just leave some quiet peaceful time by myself. No interuptions, no nags, no homeworks, no projects, no quarrels. All by myself and relaxing.

My friends told me something. I am a busy guy. It's like I will meet up with them and again disappear for a couple of months before they can see me again. My gal told me I am a busy guy. Everytime covering myself with duties and burying myself in homeworks. However, there is one thing that I am very certain. Those are the burdens that I would have to carry if I want to achieve what I aim!

A mother nagging at home certainly doesn't make things any better. Just when you feel you finally manage to add the final piece into a jigsaw, someone comes to you and yak yak yak yak, and the piece of jigsaw suddenly goes missing.

My gal also said I had changed, and I totally agree. In the past, when ever I had an arguement with you, there is a 100% chance that I will not be able to sleep well in the night. But now, the moment I hang up the phone or send the final sms, I would most probably be fast asleep within 10 minutes. Somehow, I do not feel anything special currently. Perhaps, I am just waiting for a miracle to make our feelings towards each other special. To be honest, I really been very patient waiting.

My wish now is to have at least 7 hours of sleep each day without compromising anything else. (Of coz my motorcycle still remains the priority!) =)

I was kinda upset recently. But I learned something from it. Do not let anger take control of me. If I let anger overwhelm me, a lot of unpleasant things could happen. Not only would I be affected, my friends, family and close ones will be affected. Worse still, it could affect my health. I want to leave healthly to enjoy my old age. Thought I know my health has alot of problems now, I think my body has what it takes to fight off those problems.

Back to my anger. I decided on my own anger management technique. It may not be the best technique but I feel this would be the one that will suit me the best. Whenever I am angry, I should keep my bloody mouth shut! Foul languages will automatically roll out of my tongue when I am angry so it is best that the mouth is kept shut. I know the power of my mouth had made people cried.

Right now, I feel that some things is not working out well. I am really hoping that this matter will be worked out soon.

Lastly, I ranked my elective preferrences and my attachment work. I shall just list the first choice here. I choosen Mangerial Accounting 2 for my elective. This module is about decision making and stuff like that. Is what a manager in a finance department have to do. I hope that I can be a manager straight away after I graduate. But I think it is most probably fat hope. The attachment I choosen is an auditor. I think this career path is quite promising. I have to know the work of an accounting and yet have the knowledge of the auditor at the same time! An accountant only need to know the FRS. An auditor needs to know FRS & SSA!
(FRS = Financial Reporting Standards & SSA = Singapore Standards of Auditing)

Ironically, I have to share this news on my blog. Seems like I got nobody to share this information with. Oh ya... I may be shutting down my blog soon if I feel that this blog is worthless... Maybe not close it down but just leave it here to rot.

After looking through some of my project materials, I found some interesting facts. For example, there were theories on how the solar system were formed. There many things in space which are very scary.

1) Black holes which is 20+ the size of the Sun and it is even able to suck light into it.
2) The Sun will accumulate energy and will grow so big that it is able to boil the earth's water & even cause the earth's atmosphere to move to space.
3) Star exploding.
4) Global warming & how fast the resources on Earth are being used it.
5) Storms in other planets which can last at least 100 plus years.
6) The big boom! As in the end of the universal.

This is only some of the details. There are alot more details but I am too lazy to read all of it. It is damn wordy! If you guys are interested, just go wikipedia and search for solar system and start linking around the webpages in wiki.

Then, the more serious part. I start to think that will happen then. Will earthlings leave Earth for another planet? What if all of life is being sucked into the black hole? Would there be living things in the black hole? Or the big boom killing all the stars? And we cant do anything to stop it! Scary huh? Or am I thinking too much? After all, there is still at least millions or billions of years before this happen.

Then, I thought of another matter. What will life be like after death? Is there really such thing as afterlife? Going to heaven or hell? Personally, I feel that followers of certain religion just want something that can give them something to believe in. Afterlife, to me is unrealistic. Maybe there was some guy in the past who went into a deep coma and had some dream and upon awaking, he thought that he went to some paradise and tell everyone that is afterlife. I will only believe in such things if there is prove. This isn't the first time I am thinking about life after death. Whenever I am pondering over it, it always gives me the shivers. I do not know if I am afraid of death but I am just fearful of what will happen after death. I always think of life after death whenever someone I know passed away or I read about the end of life.

Because of my fears, I feel that it is very important to live life to the fullest. No point getting angry over tiny matters. Just try to let go as fast as possible and enjoy the life which everybody deserve. If you are too fearful of everything, then what is the point in living. To me, being really rich doesn't really make a person happy. I read about stories regarding millionaires who have a terrible social life. Friends are there for them because of their money. While their millionaire friends will look down on them if their fortune suddenly disappear. I do not mean that I do not want to be rich. Just earn enough to enjoy life. Do not earn to much as the chances that the more a person earns, the more pressure there is in the job. So with this, I promise to live life happily from now on. Do not always be so hot-tempered as it will only damage my health. I wanna die comfortably in my sleep and not choking to death or let some bateria eat my body while I am healthy.

Basically, live life to the fullest! Try to displace unhappiness with happiness as soon as possible!

What am I doing? Constantly complaining about my studies? I should be glad at the position that I am at now. Alot of other people wouldn't mind switching position with me if I not wrong.

For something more light hearted. Cynthia and I found an abandon rabbit. Its kinda cute so I took quite some pictures of it.