I realised i been a fool. Now that is all in the past.

I experienced the sweetness and joy. I experienced the bitterness and sorrow. All this was wonderful. At least it is a learning experience for me.

Now, i realise what really makes me really happy.
1) Seeing my mother smile
2) Getting good results

I am so happy when my mother finally agrees to go for a full body check up. She finally consented after my months of pestering. I think her age is failing her and her health had deteriorate. I think it is time for me to stay home more often and take care of her. Staying by her side more often also means that i will have the chances to see her smile more often.

Another thing which makes me happy is getting good results. The reason is simple. I feel that i am acheiving something. I do not want to be a useless man like my father. I want to strike it big the moment i graduate from poly or even university. Therefore getting good results the steps which allows me to complete my goal.

However, there are things which makes me fearful too.

Knowing me, those things should be obvious. However, strangely, there is one thing i am very afraid of. I am afraid that i will not have friends, companion or simply someone who i can talk to comfortablely. People all says that i have alot of friends. But all those "friends" are just people whom i say hi, hello and goodbye too. In fact, I am lonely. I am desperately looking for someone who understands me. There are some friends who really understands me. I would like to say that it is appreciated.

The new term is starting. I must strive to be the best once again.

Anyway, another lousy birthday and lousy china trip. This makes december lousy..