I went out with Cynthia the entire day. We had moments of high and low today. High was when Cynthia cooking breakfast for me, playing with my white hamster and joking with one another. However, there was more low moments for the day than high. But none of us wanted to argue so we stayed quiet. I just want to say that I do not want to be just another average guy. I want to make it big! I do not want to fellow into my father's footsteps. I want a better family for myself! I think I should deserve better. I know I am selfish but it is time for me to put my interest in front of others. I want to do things that I am happy doing and not doing things for others. I already wasted almost the entire of my childhood doing things for the sake of other people happiness. I haven't really enjoy what it is like to do the things I want to do. I hope you will be supportive and understanding. I already given up on my family to understand me. My only wish is the let my mother stay happy in her old age. The other things in my family is simply not my problem.

God had been cruel to me... I just hope that he will make up for it in my later stage of life.