I just found out that my brain is very problematic recently. It thinks of stuff which I am not required to think of and yet it serve me well in my educations. Why couldn't I let go of my belief and continue life in a much relax and carefree way? I keep thinking of the negetive side of everything. Although I had some positive thoughts, the negetive side seems to be too overwhelming for me to handle. I am not only talking about education! It is about every situation I encounter! I want to stop all those thoughts but I failed. I just want to be a carefree and happy-go-lucky person who would not bother much in life except for matters which concerns me. I sure hope this "negetive" part of my brain will blow up and never to bother me again. Yesterday, I made a decision. I will not give up body-building! So, I started doing my push-up all over again and started my weight training again. It was not intensive but I could feel the weakness in my body. Reflecting back of the past, I had neglected alot of things. Luckily, if i were to put in the effort now, I will not lose out yet. I want to have a place to scream out loud, have somebody to talk some sense into me, give my mind a little break or isolate myself for a time being. However, all this is impossible! I have so much to do and so much things to handle. I know I am not stress by studies yet but somehow, I do not feel right with my life now. It seems to be miles apart from the life I used to live. I had not adapt to this life but I want to get used to it. My old live is just a dark shadow of my past which I want to escape. Can somebody stop me from thinking what I should not be bother with?