I want to buy PS3!

I feel bad..

It's not for me to judge where my gf's futures lies but all I ever wanted was for her to succeed. Succeeding have totally nothing to do with luck but has everything to do with mentality. Therefore, I felt bad when I said that SIM is a place for losers with nowhere better else to go.

"Why do I felt this way?" I asked myself, after all, SIM has its fair share of success stories and yet I am criticising their ability to groom a student. The only reason I can think of is that I am getting to full of myself. I had never overlook this negative attitude of mine and I am trying ways to improvise on it.

I been think of my future again. Questions such as 'what career path should I choose', 'what type of person do I want to spend the rest of my life with', 'what should I do if my parents are diagnosed with a serious illness' and 'what if I were paralysed from a freak accident'. There is so many questions which are on my mind but no answers appeared on my mind. Perhaps the only possible answer I have is what should I do if I terribly ill of which the answer is I will definitely terminate my life since the law could be allowing the use of lethal injection soon. But what about my other questions? My guess is that the decision would most probably be made either selflessly or selfishly.

If I were to choose my career base on selflessness, the career would most probably be regular working hours with a decent salary. But if I were to choose a career selfishly, I would be looking for a high paying job with irregular working hours that have a high chance of promotions early.

Sigh... There are so much tough decision to make in life... A major decision is still pending this coming December or March.

I'm back to being a bookworm, borrowing books from the library. I manage to stumble upon one of the best selling books and i borrowed it immediately!

It's titled - "THE RULES OF LIFE"

Basically, this book provides recommendation to lead a happier and more successful life. After reading 1/4 of the book, I found out why had I succeeded... I possess half of the life's rule recommended by the book! That is why I am successful :) I guess if I want to be a happier person, I have to finish the remaining of the book.

Anyway, there are many things which I can do now since I am relieved of the stress of preparing for exams. Taken up a few hobbies and enjoying life. Hope I can pick up new skills soon :)

Perhaps, I am a selfish person.

I was reflecting how has my effort to reconcile all my family differences made any significant impact when I realised my own mistakes. I am trying to change my family members into my ideal family. The problem is that my family can never be ideal no matter what!

I will forever be the bad temper son in the family and will not have adequate time to spend with the family.

My mom will forever be the stubborn, superstitious and the control freak that she is.

My sister will forever stay with bad company and will never ever realise the importance of family

My father will forever be missing from home at every opportunity which he have and not contributing any significant things to the family.

But what I am trying to do I feel is justified. As the saying goes "if you love someone, do not try to change them". I totally hate the kind of family I have therefore I feel that I have all the right to try to change them a family of my dreams.


Another area for improvement for me is my communication skills. I feel that the way I talk could offend people before I can realise it. Or the way I behave is anti-social. This is totally not the kind of behaviour of a successful man! Therefore must try to buck my my communication!

I spend the whole weekend hoping around places!

AH
East Coast Park
NUH
NTU Alumni Club
Bukit Panjang
Toa Payoh

Wow... My petrol should be half used by since I last pump on Saturday morning.

Nowadays, whenever things are not looking good, I figure out the best way to make things appear better.

Avoidance.

It might not make things go any better in the future but it will definitely make things more peaceful in the present. In the past, I used to tackle the problem head on but I found out that this approach is wrong in a relationship(academically wise, it is better to do otherwise). What is the use for finding a solution for a problem which keep recurring? The problem could very likely can only be settled by tolerance and compromises. In my opinion, avoidance could be a form a tolerance.

What the use of having good academic results when my family sucks? Most likely they will affect other's opinion on me in a negative way.

What the use of having good academic results again if friends are not there for me? In my list of contacts, I can hardly find anyone who will go with me for a drink if I were to approach them.

What the use of being in such a long relationship when the days of anger are more than the days of love?

So many questions on what the uses that I really have the urge to go back to my old days... Carefree, relax and withdrawn. At least everything is much more peaceful then.

Got my results... Was having high expectation this time round but I guess I should be glad with what I got. At least my 3.8 grade has been maintained. Here's my results...

Advance Financial Accounting - AD
Auditing 2 - AD
Company Law - B+
Managerial Accounting - AD
Taxation 2 - A+
PC Technology - B+
World Issues - A

More ADs to add to my resume, especially auditing! Can crap say that I am very passionate about Audit and this can be proved by getting distinction for both Audit 1 and 2 in poly. In fact, I was quite upset that I did not get at least an A got my Company Law. I got the book prize for BLAW and yet they never give me face :(

Right now, I am an intern of Bank of America(ML was bought over by them just yesterday).
Still trying to be more outspoken but I seems to be tongue-tied when in the company of my colleagues. I guess I still lack the personality to be a leader/manager. Must strive hard!!!

My girlfriend is not taking her revision seriously again! What else is new?

So far, I'm liking my internship. My main aim right now is to understand what I am doing and do my tasks quick and error free.

Btw... For the information of someone....

This guy...



Warren Buffett...

is the CEO of...



and not...

There is not much happenings for the week. Basically, I am having my internship programme at ML and trying to learn as much things as possible. I'm very pleased that one of my mentor actually praised me! He said that I am the first intern who successfully allocated the data without mistake on the first try =) What is better is that he praised me in front of the AVPs! Seems like my internship is going on a good start.

Clicking with the staffs in the department isn't that bad as well. Having lunch regularly with the other department's staff and slowly starting to speak more. In fact, I got to chat with my AVP while doing my tasks. Another funny incident happened. On the 2nd day, I witnessed my AVP applying access for me and sending the application with a wrong email! The error was that instead of a '@' for the email, he mistakenly used '_'. When he came over my desk on thursday to see whether the application was approved, he found it strange that no email was sent to me. Then I told him that he entered the wrong email when he raised the application. I told him that I dare not tell him since it was only the 2nd day I am at work. Everyone around my desk immediately started laughing and the AVP jokingly said that he is human as well and he makes mistake. Hope that does not left a bad impression on them.

Furthermore, there was a department lunch which is on the VP's treat. Our department ate at Jack's Place and I am the one who ordered the most expensive meal. Hope that doesn't affect my evaluation ;p My VP also ordered roasted snails. That was the first time I ate snails. Couldn't get much taste out of it as I only ate one which fulfill my VP's philosophy of "everything must at least try once". Anyway, I still think that corkles are much nicer to eat.

My relationship have its ups and downs during this week. More on the down side basically. Really hoping that I can spend more time on my other half so that the happiness would still remains. Whether she will be my soul mate for the rest of my life remains unclear. I have not decide yet but I intend to have a steady relationship before I graduate from university. I really do not think I can find a good partner once I am outside in the workforce.

That sums up my week. Rather lazy to blog nowadays.

ERP rates from my home to my work place is $1!

Parking is free at Marina Square and Millenia Walk.

ERP rates from work place to home is another $1!

Transportation MRT from Redhill to City hall $0.98.

Transportation MRT from Tiong Bahru to City hall $0.88.

Question is whether should I take train or ride to work?

While I was doing spring cleaning for my emails, I read through a few emails sent by Cynthia in the past. I realised that we were very close to breaking up in the midst of November 2005 to January 2006. I do not recall what happened but I am certain that the reasons are very likely to be childish and immature. Reflecting back, a thought was always on my mind whenever something bad was brewing in my relationship, was I in this relationship for the sake of companionship.

Companionship it was as we had accompany each other from late 2006 to mid 2008 without much trouble. However, everlasting was never possible as predicted by me. Being the typical accountant, I was thinking of the returns of this relationship.

We are not as happy as we used to be in the past. Now, it seems that we can easily have a much better conversation with friends with jokes in the conversation. I had also predicted that couples usually have less things to talk about due to restriction in certain topic.

I have the feeling of being used in this relationship. Especially when I got my motorbike! Although it had shorten my travelling time to get to her home, it still takes 30 minutes. A round trip would already take 1 hour. You should feel privileged instead of abusing the fact that you can get a more convenient form of transportation and it is getting more annoying as time passes.

I also get jealous easily and I am jealous of the fact that you care about a dog more someone who has been in your life for 3 years. Back to the topic of happiness, you once said that Oscar is the ONLY one who could make you feel happy. So I guess I am not needed any more?

I wish to offer you as much support as you offered for me while I took my O Levels. I would remain quiet and supportive throughout your journey. I can offer advise and a listening ear when you want to voice out your frustration. I would try to refrain from any acts that would caused you to be emotional unbalanced as I believe that exams would be done the best when an individual is both physically and emotionally healthy.

P.S.
Buying the water bottle for me was one of the most thoughtful things that you had done in our relationship... Thanks...

I actually finished watching Heroes 2 in 2 days! Actually, it is not as bad as what the critics said. I was glued to the storyline since the third episode which is the reason why I finish the series so quickly. The creator of Heroes really have that fascinating ability to keep viewers in suspense. Even up till the last episode where it makes me want to catch the third season as soon as it is released. The good news is that season 3 has already been released but sadly, its not officially released in Singapore.

I just realised another thing about me. Whenever I watch a drama series, I can't help but take a liking for some of the actresses (who ask actresses to be so pretty everytime!). In season 1, I liked Hayden...



However, after the second season... I found another babe :D



Her name is Kristen Bell and she's 28 years old! This makes me wanna grow old. Haha... I am truly sounding like a young college guy who get crush easily.

I'm tired of everything... maybe I will just drop everything... all affections, responsibilities and everything... just lying on my bed and resting...

Finally all the exams are over! I was quite prepared for all the papers as I had prepared early this time round.

As I had foresee, there was indeed trouble happening on my exam week. Luckily, it occur the night before taxation paper. Police coming to my home in the middle of the night waking me up when I am sound asleep. The cause of all this is my sister! I do not know whether I regard her as a sibling. What I feel for her is partly pity, partly hate. Pity is for the life she had to go through. Hate for the amount of trouble she caused my family.

I tried to encourage her to start life afresh, to lead a life outside the underworld. I was trying to step into her footsteps to think why she had became so isolated from the family and why she enjoys living a life of "excitement". Seriously, I am completely clueless. Even my ultra bad temper is able to withstand our Mother's constant nagging. Maybe I am the favourite child but I feel that I have every right to be her favourite. However, I believe that if you were to treat her in a better manner, what she is willing to offer me will be offered to you as well. Sigh! My sister is already in her mid 20s. I really hope she will be more mature, plan about the future and stop living this kind of totally undesirable life(imo).

My ex-colleagues in WT, they are as academically declined as my sister is and yet they are living life normally, in a stable relationship, in a happy family and a stable job. So why can't my family be the same! I am already juggling so many responsibilities yet I am still finding a way to make my family happier. I help my sister whenever she need my help, accompany my mother as much as possible and even visit my father despite the fact that I hated him since young. I told my sister that I hope that our family to be happy, urge my mother to reduce her nagging for the benefit of the company and praying that my father will return home a better man. Maybe my next birthday wish or visit to the temple, I will pray and hope or whatever I can but in order for all these to become a reality, I really do need the contribution of everybody!

(repeated a lot a lot of times - I really envy complete and happy families)

Events which are within my knowledge now:
1) Employment contract signing with ML on 25 Aug
2) Singapore Stock Challenge
3) Father returning home on 4 Sept
4) Results on 15 Sept

Talking about results, I hope I done well enough to get a 4.0.

Something strike me today.

I was thinking... I am fortunate in a sense that I never have those typical teenager problems. I do not have problems in my studies, relationship, peer pressure or whatever.

However, I have to deal with many problems which are equally mentally and emotionally draining as well. Family problems? Dealing with gangsters and troublemakers? Never had I felt so helpless.

Sigh... right now isn't the time for all these thoughts...

Focus... Concentrate...

Watched the Olympics for the first time in my life.... it was addictive!

I think I was mesmerised by Park Mi-young, a pretty young lass :)



Cute right? still got her video playing table tennis on youtube.... fierce!



Anyway, I'm still patriotic... I was rooting for Singapore to win right from the start! Although I was captivated by the Korean beauty ;p

Lol... cannot say too much.. later Cyn will beat me...

Go back study lei..

screwed claw...

maybe got chance got "baby" ;p

:pray: mark leniently!

Sibei Sian...

so did a test in my break time...

the results --->

Just installed the mirrors :) Not used to them yet as they are very small!

Wait until after my exam then I polish it until nice nice...

Bought new mirrors @ $38








Will post pictures of it on my bike after I install it....

Exams coming that is why my table so messy :)

Lastly, watched Money & Mummy...

Money is draggy but quite touchy

Mummy takes you to a fantasy ride

That's all....

Exam from 15 Aug till 22 Aug

Why is it that every time when my test/exams are approaching, there seems to be some form of distraction?

I went to make a police report recently. It is regarding my sister's boyfriend. What I can say is that my family and I had tolerated the last of your terrorising behaviour! I do not need to be a physic to be able to tell your future. Not only are you uneducated, you are uncivilised as well. This would bring you nowhere in this society. Maybe you could have the benefits of living off tax-payers money which should be something you ought to be proud of as not much Singaporeans get to enjoy that "privilege".

The police told me that they can have him arrested due to attempting to house break. Combined with your past criminal records, I'm sure the law will be impartial with their sentencing. So, if he were to ever come near my home to terrorise or disturb my family, be very certain that I will contact the police.

This is why I am studying very hard right now. So that I can afford to go to the police station to give my statement if the need arises. Normally, I couldn't be bothered about what sort of guys my sister dates. Never had I urge my sister to break-up with her current boyfriend. This prove that how much this asshole is undeserving of my respect. However, he made me more protective of my mother and in the first time of my life, hope that my father was around protecting the family.

However, I feel that all this distraction has weighted me down. I feel that my revision progress isn't as smooth as I expected. I have trouble with the computation of Non-resident income tax and quite uncertain with the computation of MA2. I have not memorise any theory yet! So here I am furiously studying to ensure my 4.0 dreams remains fulfil-able :)

And one more thing...

this is the colour of my arms right now...

Went back to school for PPP this morning. PPP is Professional Preparation Program. Actually, I feel that the message can be transfer by simply giving the PPP booklet to us. This would be a win-win situation for both the school and the student as the school get to save the cost of conducting the PPP and transfer the cost savings to the students who can get the PPP booklet for free :)

To bad I do not have the guts to put that under the feedback for the PPP.

After the PPP, I hang around in school to wait till a appropriate time to leave for the Singapore Bike Fest. Chat for awhile can notice something unique. There are turtles mating in the pond! Here are the pictures to provide evidence to what I said :)



So how does turtles mate? I'm not sure but it sure looks like a very popular "position" :)

After that, off I went to the SBF. Kind of a disappointment as the events were pretty boring. But there were plenty of pretty bikes...









Personally, the first 3 photos are ranked according to my liking. If I was god damn rich and living in a private property, these would probably be one of my assets. This would probably be my retiring plans. Drive in the afternoon when the Sun is freaking hot and ride at night and up north occasionally to enjoy the breeze. Despite my age, I am already thinking about my retirement already :) This shows that I am a very organised person ;p

Here are the other photos I took:



Can spot my bike?





and the nicest post with my bike so far...



and the two who keep bugging me to go riding acting like these are their bikes...



That is all that I got for the SBF.

There is two more things I want to bring up. Initially, I was suppose to go with PL who was suppose to a companion. However, she backed up and I had to go myself. So I was telling myself: "Eugene ah Eugene ah, must be more sociable and make more new friends". But apparently, I have not yet acquire the skills to break ice so I guess this is an aspect that needs more work to improve my characteristic.

So the last an final part is specially for my relationship. Coincidently, two of my friends used the same display message which goes: "the more we get together the happy we'll be". I was contemplating how wonderful if this is applied to our relationship. So with this inspiring statement, I decided to ask PL out to catch a movie and to surprise her with the fireworks which will be on display today. But alas, this was not to be...

Maybe it is a win-win situation again as we both get to do our revision...

I got my posting...

I'm attached to...

Merrill Lynch Global Services Pte Ltd

I heard rumours regarding the life in ML(my branch).

1) Unfriendly colleagues
2) Cramp office
3) Prepare to work OT
4) OT could last till 1am
5) Heavy workload
(Disclaimer: these are the opinions I heard and not my own personal comments)

I do not understand why I got this posting. My chosen field for attachment is Audit and apparently, ML is a company which specialised in financial service which includes:
Personal financial planning
Securities underwriting
Trading and brokering
Investment banking and advisory services
Trading of foreign exchange
Commodities and derivatives
Banking and lending
Insurance
Research

None of this services got the slightest relationship with audit! So why why I got into this company? I am good with financial accounting, tax and audit. My weakest area would be financial management and other qualitative modules. I really really do not know what I will be doing in ML.

There were good news as well as bad. Steven & JieMing both got into the habourfront branch and I was posted elsewhere! Millenia Towers was the place. Luckily there is still someone I know by the name of Jing Ying :) There are other familar names in the ML list of which I am unsure of whether they will be at the same branch as me.

Finally, exam starts on 15 Aug.... Must chiong now...